"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." --at a 1998 Republican fundraiser
•
"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded."
•
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
•
"I said, 'The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.'"
•
"At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." -to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said "You're getting a little thin up there,"
•
•
"You know the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum-sucking bottom-dweller. The other is a fish."
•
"My Social Security number is 8." --joking with Jay Leno
•
•
"You know, by a strange coincidence I was not elected Miss Congeniality in the United States Senate this year." --after being asked by Rev. Rick Warren about going against his party
•
"The good news is that we now have enough money to run the entire campaign in Colorado. The bad news is, some of that money is still in your wallets and purses." --speaking at a fundraiser in Aspen, Colorado
"Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." --to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation•
"I had something picked out for you, too - a little IED (improvised explosive device) to put on your desk." --to Jon Stewart
•
•
"In case you missed it, a few days ago Senator Clinton tried to spend $1 million on the Woodstock Concert Museum. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I wasn't there. I'm sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event. I was tied up at the time." --on the years he spent as a P.O.W. in Vietnam
•
"Thanks for the question, you little jerk." -- John McCain, after being asked by a high school student if he was too old to be president. For good measure, McCain then threatened to draft him.
•
•
"Remember the words of Chairman Mao: 'It's always darkest before it's totally black.'"
•
"Presidential ambition is a disease that can only be cured by embalming fluid."
•
"I'm older than dirt, I've got more scars than Frankenstein, but I've learned a few things along the way."
•
•
"Never get into a wrestling match with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it." --to reporters in New Hampshire after being asked him about Mitt Romney
•
"We spent $3 million to study the DNA of bears in Montana. I don't know if that was a paternity issue or a criminal issue." --on wasteful congressional spending
•
•
"I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as vice president of the United States?"
•
•
"We have a lot of work to do. It's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border." --referring to a border that does not exist, ABC News interview, July 21, 2008
•
"I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don't expect to be a great communicator, I don't expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need." --New York Times interview, July 13, 2008
•
"Maybe that's a way of killing them." --responding to a report that $158 million in cigarettes have been shipped to Iran during Bush's presidency despite restrictions on U.S. exports to that country, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July 8, 2008
•
•
"I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks." --speaking at the National Small Business Summit, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2008 (Watch video clip)
•
"Well, basically, it's a Google." --on how he's conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008
•
•
"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies." --Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008
•
"You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." --breaking into song after being asked at a VFW meeting about whether it was time to send a message to Iran, Murrells Inlet, South Carolina, April 18, 2007 (Watch video clip)
•
•
"I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican...Hello? Easy there."
•
"I am a illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get." -after being asked whether us uses a Mac or a PC.
•
•
"It's not social issues I care about."
•
"No, I'm calling you a fucking jerk." --to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?"
•
•
"Only an asshole would put together a budget like this ... I wouldn't call you an asshole unless you really were an asshole." --to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Repulican Sen. Pete Domenici, during a Senate budget hearing
SOURCE: http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/johnmccain/a/mccain-quotes.htm
Complied by Daniel Kurtzman
No comments:
Post a Comment